Hammer Time is the Same as: Poon.... Poonanny...PoonTaco...Poon Poon, Va Jay Jay, the Slanted Smile, the Hairy Axe Wound, The Honey Pot, The HooAHHH, the wHoo Ha, the Monkey, The bearded Clam, the Oyster, The sweet Spot, Lucy, Cookie, cooter, coochie, the Love Pocket, Hot Pocket, Snatch, Fly Trap, Venus, Love Tunnel, Twat, Cha Cha, Tango, Polka, Muff, Muffin (Not Related), beaver, lady business, the love shack, Hot House, the house, the Garage, the C word, Pussy (Bloch)and Yes Ive even heard Salsa...Which lets just not even ever repeat that! I'll never eat Scoops and Picanti again I swear! Why do I have all these names for the Lovely Lady Part? I dont know, I was thinking... after reading A BLOG VIA A MOTHER WHO WANTED TO MAKE SURE HER CHILD KNEW THE PROPER TERMS FOR THEIR NO NO NOOKIES...
You know one of those what to expect when expecting 1st time Moms and then had an Irish Twin 11 months later because her Dumb Ass believed you couldn't get pregnant while breast feeding....You know the Type....and having had taught her children such large words as Vagina and Penis now wishes she'd taught Sally Sassy Mouth to name them Jack and Jill or something! You know SO she could pass off her Daughters Antics as slightly cute...in a less obnoxious Nursery Rhyme kinda way. Damn did that shit ever Backfire! So... her freaking kids are riding through the Target in one of those double seater carts for super soccer Milfs and her 3 year old is screaming at the top of her Lungs~ I have a G'eye'na and my Brover has a Peeeeeeee Nis' Over and Over, Im thinking Serves ya right lady! How God Awful? Every Person in the Store must have been mortified. See...thats the story that got me to Laundry List Moisty McMufferson names for the G'eye'na... Im reading blogs, Im picking up new stories, potential Blog Topics and attempting to get new readers, what am I suppose to do between page loads? So Im noticing that there are alot of Soccer Moms, the Retro's, Raggedy Anne Crafters (Really? YES! and its a BLOG!) and a Whole lot of Photographers blog via Blogger! It doesnt take a rocket scientist to catch on to the Blog Types....Im wondering at the same time, What Type am I? And at the same time again like in stereo~ Jinx~ you owe me a coke fashion...thinking outloud and in an Irish Accent...for Christ Sake Muffin....DO ya Care?. Cuz why spend to much time wondering about the important things, like Blog Cliques ...Really.... Kids do say the Darnedest things....Like My Daughter when she was three.....21 years ago....It was Christmas morning and we were having our traditional Cinnamon Roll Christmas Breakfast and my Cousin "Woo Woo" not to be mistaken for Wee Wee, Stopped by to see what Santa brought for his pseudo niece....Which to this Day she calls him Uncle Woo Woo...
As luck would have it, Lil Miss got a Whoopie Cushion in her stocking....and as kids go, thats the toy they will play with to exhaustion, Its loud, Crass and Makes her Daddy Laugh...SO it was Water Baby 0 and Whoopie Cushion 1
My daughter being a bit of a Midget, was very tiny! I'm talking Maybe 2.5 feet tall til she was 5, then 3.5 feet tall till she was 15...Just a little tiny, tiny thing! She was also Light as a feather! (Graduation from high school she was only 87 pounds!) So we would blow up the whoopie cushion and she would, Throw herself on it to get just the tiniest Fart Noise out....then she would laugh like a Hyena for an hour....It was funny for a bit actually....So any woohaaa....My Husband (at the Time) says to me, shes so light it sounds like a Pussy Fart...I was like OMG! Dont say that! Giggles....he was right.... it was kinda all air and no bass! I then forgot he even said it! UNTILLL: My cousin who as stated before stopped by, and says to Miss thing, Whatcha Got There?....Shes say coyly "a Whooooopeee Cushion", he says "Really? Hows that work?"....she, all grins, runs the rubber balloon to her dad to "BaWhoa it up", which he does. She then proceeds to place it on the floor, and hurl her bottom on it, and basically her body onto the floor!We then hear a soft yet very Audible and very slow "Sffffaaattttttt...shhhhh....." Uncle Woo Woo says to her...with caught dramatic breath....."WHAT WAS THATTTTTTTTTTTTTT?" Lil Miss Looks at him smartly and proclaims: "PUSSY FART!"
Yup Kids do say the Darnedest things!
~Love the Muffin, as in Love from me, not LOVE FROM THE VA JAY JAY <- POINT AND CLICK ON "VA JAY JAY" for more embarrassing but not my daughters trauma ~Well... NAKID WRITERS... Trauma! Thanks Nakid Writer!
