Karma is a Bitch and Misery is her Sister!

Tired of the FIGHT? 

A quick How to ...STOP!

From the Economy, to Ex's, to Traffic...it seems lately that every day has become a fight...of one magnitude or another!
So Ive taken the time I needed to clean out my emotional closet of crap carrying luggage, and get back into real prospective!  
Ill fix what I can to maintain my LIFE...everything else is beyond my control so Ill let it go....sorry if that means to you that  Im unavailable to feel bad for you anymore! You made your bed with cheap sheets and shitty pillows...I dont have to lie in it with you! I am only responsible for ME! If you have a bad day, trip, marriage, job, bank account or cup of coffee...well that's on YOU! I refuse to have Marital issues, a shitty Job and crap coffee just so you don't feel alone in your misery! As an EXAMPLE of course!
We all need to take stock in our Hoarding of "Feelings" and reevaluate our philosophies on a regular bases and Ive decided that my winter clean out has arrived...I needed to review the basics of... Bitchy, One OH One!

How to Fight Fair:

No such thing...this isn't boxing its primarily the art of debate. IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT then hands down no argument needed! So as far as the "Fight" goes...know when to hold em and know when to fold em....if the person you are fighting with is Blind and a Moron...You'll always end up looking like a jerk...not to the blind person, cuz well... they cant see, and since they're a moron anyway... do you really care what they think?

You do look like a jerk though, to the scores of friends and family you go bitching to, about this Blind Dumb-ass...with your knowledge and theirs too... that you are probably ALWAYS fighting with this person and likely the fights are always the same...Ask your self this question: If this person didn't exist tomorrow would I cease to exist as well? If the Answer is Yes their Death would cause my Death...then carry on... keep fighting the good fight! Your survival depends on it! If the Answer is: NO, if this person died tomorrow I would in fact still be living and breathing (with the exception of fighting with this person) on a daily basis then I say Cut your losses...Just make sure when you do you don't cut their Juggler vein too...Jail isn't a good time, from what I saw while watching Lock Up on MSNBC!

How to Control Shit:

Pepto-bismol! It may not control all the Shit but it will at least slow the flow of the shit...Sometimes that's all we need to regain ourselves! We need the flow to slow so we can cope! If WE INDIVIDUALLY are adding shit to our shit...and then adding to that, everyone else's shit...Well its gonna spiral and quick! You will loose control of the all things you can control! 

Knowing what you can control is the key! IE: YOUR REACTION! Your commitment to remain uninvolved in drama and darkness, and your ability to see your way out! These are truly all that we control in our lives! Oh we think we've got a handle on everyone else's Shit...After all, you believe you are just a witness to their shit...Consider this though...If I keep hearing about your dysfunction, (or you mine)...You really are polluting my space (and perhaps your space with my dysfunction) and by definition of Pollute...You and I get bogged down, and that's going to have an Affect/Effect!

YOU REALLY DO ONLY CONTROL THE THREE THINGS MENTIONED above! Attempting to control more then those three things never works! It results in YOU kidding yourself, and thus finding yourself several days or weeks from now wishing you had taken stock and handled YOUR shit! You will be left having wished you left others Shit alone too!  
Misery doesn't love company...SHE LOVES DRAMA! 

Karma is a Bitch and Misery is her Sister! Thats the truth!

Loving other peoples Drama makes our seem, less Drama~Ish! Sharing our Drama makes us feel Important...As in: "oh yeah I got Drama so I must count for something"...What you have is Negative Energy that you are rubbing all over the poor sap who answered your call! That poor Sap answered because they care about you! Don't rub shit on people who care about you! 

How to Fix it:

That part is simple....OWN IT! OWN YOUR SHIT! I OWN MY SHITTY SHIT SHIT!

So to my Poor Saps in the last thirty days...Send me your dry cleaning bill...My shit removal had to be expensive...The least I can do is foot the bill!

I OWN my part in creating Drama, stirring the Drama...and sharing the Drama...

I refuse to add to the Drama anymore...If I don't like something that directly has a result on my physical person, I will stand up for ME. Otherwise...I'm not going to even react...except to take pause and remind myself that only I control my reaction!

My kids are Grown, My Husband is Grown, My friends are Grown. Ill handle my shit and they can all handle theirs!

This has been confessed to you by the Muffin.

Made in America

I got this VIA Email...But its Important and I dont want to loose it!

Enjoy! Share,....Copy and Repost!!!

Subject: Made in USA

 A must read....re:  Buying 'made in USA'
A physics teacher in high school once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American.

Good idea .... one light bulb at a time .... Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowe's the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments. They were all made in China . The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there.  They were made in USA . Start looking. (note here: earlier this week, RZ was in Lowes looking for a sprinkler head. Looked at RainBird and Looked at Orbits. RainBird is made in Mexico; Orbits in the USA . Orbits purchased!!)
 In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job . So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track. Let's get behind her!

 My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now. I do not buy it any more. 

 My favorite toothpaste, Colgate, is made in Mexico ... now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything.
 This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE  brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled "Everyday Value." I picked  up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the same except  for the price. The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand  but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in  MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland, Ohio.
So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here.
So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets. Yep, you guessed it... 

Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada. The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA ! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price!
My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the  job you save may be your own or your neighbors!
If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time! Stop buying from overseas companies!
 We should have awakened a decade ago.
Let's get with the program. Help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U.S.A.

 I have passed this on. Will you?

Patriotic Muffin

Love Language...What we are looking for...

I had a very close friend say to me recently: "You are the Reason I will never Marry again." Trust me this was not a compliment. She was serious! I however, was not offended. I'm actually quite the Romantic, although I dont appear that way to some. I am very in touch with my emotions and self. Enough so, that her idea that my ideas are absurd don't even sway my opinion! Absurd as she may find them, they are actually honest and REAL. Not that Im saying hers arent...Im sure she feels certain that what she says she feels, she actually believes she feels...Im just not so sure that she is allowing herself to feel feel! Rather she is attempting to feel what she perceives as normal!
Love and Language are two very important things to me. The fact that many people including her, don't know how to feel...literally. As I see it... Thats really her problem! I accept my "feelings", I acknowledge them, and even if, I'm not or they're not "Conventional," I don't let that stop me from being honest with myself about "feeling". OK~ I get it... so maybe she just thinks I'm complicated!
Here's how it works in her world, Again...as I see it! Which may mean, that I'm wrong! (I doubt it, but the possibility exists!) After having a conversation about Ex's...Hers, Mine, and possibly Yours....she made the following comment: she said "I wouldn't want anything to happen to my ex, but there is absolutely no emotion left in me for him." she repeats stearnly "I feel nothing for him" She then proceeded to say..."I'll always love him because he is my Sons Father"....~Screeeeeetch...~Fish Tail~ Fish Tail~ Sliding Stop.........BULLSHIT!

She doesn't love him...she made an excuse that seemed to be acceptable for her previous statement, because it lacked emotion. She projected! Because her feelings although true and raw that she has no emotions for her EX may appear harsh...she changed her statement to look less bitch like!  So hell NO! I dont accept that...She is allowed to not feel anything for her EX....Certainly you don't love someone because they are your child's parent. You dont have to Love someone because you once did, and its perfectly acceptable to Love someone you used to Hate, after having loved them in the first place.
Its not difficult! (Ok... just go back and read it slower...it'll eventually make sense!)  The reason I bring all this up is, I do not fear my emotions...I have taken the time to feel...I know better then most what I feel considering I'm the one to feel it...I have entertained several unconventional conversations in the last several days, primarily because of the comments made to me by this person. I have men opinions and lady opinions on the matter and then there is My Opinion...The topic of "what is love" was brought up at a dinner party I was at, and the very fine gentleman dining with us practically leaps up and in Broadway fashion quoted the final scene from When Harry Met Sally! I have to agree with that very fine Gentleman, Love is when you accept from the other person everything they are in their finest to ugliest moment. You accept them and all their faults..Your heart still beats and you see ALMOST only their good and potential....and because of that I can be labeled a romantic. Logic on the other hand says that timing and circumstance and trust are also key ingredients. I also believe that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just cant help who you fall in love with! When I was getting married for the second time a friends mother said to me, "In order to make your marriage work your partner needs to share a very simple idea with you. Each day when you start new you need to say to yourself what can I do to make this person happy today...and your partner needs to do the same." Happy doesn't have to be Presents, Happy doesn't have to be to do the laundry, Happy is defined by what simple thing that can bring a joyful emotion to your partner... I took the Love Language Test and posted my results up there...It appears Words/ Affirmation, Time and Touch are what makes me tick...Then again....That's something I already knew!



As the Holidays Begin...I hope you find Your HAPPILY EVER AFTER ...

I am the LoveMuffin!

BloggerStock..."Spooky"

Bloggerstock Bloggers  have done the Big Switch for Halloween, you can Find My Blog if not now, then Shortly on Lilys page By Clicking Right Here!
Thanks to  Randomista For Taking over my Page!
Happy Tricks and Treats Bitchess!

Bloggerstock was founded by a few 20 something bloggers who thought crashing google's search engine would be frickin hilarious... Unfortunately, about 45 other member's thought so too! Here's how it works: everyone who participates will be featured on someone else's blog with the same post topic, then redirected to the next blog... Therefore, a Blogring is formed and google is crashed! lol jk, but I'm pretty sure if you tried to search our topics; your system will overload. October's topic is: "Spooky 2010 - Favorite Halloween Costume or Story!"

Let's Cut to the chase, TOAR, from Thoughts of a Randomista, is not some bubbly censored bimbo. She's a 20 something college student living in "urban" Detroit, MI where you get the shit slapped out of you if you step on a guy's J's and being a Harajuku Barbie or a 5 Star Chick is a profession (well, not really but it is fun to make fun of the stereotypes Detroit gets.). She talks shit about most things and make fun of everything else - Sex & Race mostly because it is the most Taboo. She also goes off on crazy tangents in "(parenthesis)." TOAR calls it  her own personal "random writing chaos." Even though she creates hell when she write about these subjects, she likes to know that at Thoughts of a Randomista, she creates a safe place to express her ideas while receiving feedback from her readers. TOAR Loves The Twilight Saga (TEAM EDWARD, his messy bed hair makes her drool) and Guest Bloggers. And she HATES introductions!

Title: Confessions of a Plus Sized Lady Gaga

My favorite costume has to be Lady Gaga for the most obvious reasons - she suffers from multiple personality disorder therefore, she changes into her crazy costumes frequently... leaving people like me in amazement. There is so much you can do with a Lady Gaga costume. You can come outside with a book attached to a TV antenna and say that you are Lady Gaga. You can wrap yourself up in plastic bubble wrap and say you are Lady Gaga. You can come outside with panties on and say you are Lady Gaga. You can be dressed like a pumpkin and say you are Lady Gaga. You get my point?

So this year for Halloween, I am Lady Gaga. A plus - sized Lady Gaga, but Lady Gaga none the less. I got my little blonde wig, black shades, skin-tight latex leotard with thigh high boots. Lets not forget the fish nets! I wish I had pictures already. I wear a size 16, I don't have a flat stomach, but I have a firm ass and thighs -I am an athlete so no "sloppy fat" here. So can someone answer this question for me:

Why am I more Confident when I am NAKED verses when I have clothes on?

I love wearing slutty things to show off my legs. Besides my face (sorry if I am conceited - I have a reason) my legs are my best asset. I have been a competitive swimmer my WHOLE life so I think just walking around in a swimsuit is my uniform - way better than skinny jeans and a T. It is so weird though.. Most people - a lot of women - are concerned with how their body looks in a swimsuit and I am the complete opposite. I don't care about my swim suit looks - I look great in my swimsuit. It's the damn "normal people clothes" that I get self concious about. That's why when I graduate college, I'm taking my "always wanna be naked ass" to Florida.

I feel so good being Lady Gaga. I know that other people may look "thinner" in one of her costumes but I am going to RAWK that outfit - and there will be something called - Thick, Sexy, Chic. To all of you people who are questioning my reasoning - <^> YOU!

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Follow and Comment TOAR at Thoughts of a Randomista.
To View her SPOOKY Guest Blogger Check out: Being Tazim "If you go into the woods today"

The Back Seat In Life...

Sara Swears a lot does a lot of inspiring of me! She is posting the 30 Days of Truths...and she mentions in her very funny blog...that she often has melt downs...Blah Blah Blah...So go read it! (This ain't Cliffs Notes for Ole Girls Muses...Just saying!)Just pointing out that I can relate to Melt downs...Melt Downs Eat Ass! I can actually feel a melt down coming on several days, maybe even a week in advance of its arrival....No its not my Period...Seriously not everything can be blamed on Your Period! Hell at my Age I know a lot of Chica's who don't even have their lady parts...no they didn't have sex changes, they had their baby bags removed...I have questions about that too but not for this blog! SO I'm looking at a melt down that is approx ...Hmmmm... today is 10/17/10 and there are 31 days in Oct...25 days till Thanksgiving added together...39 days til melt~ down...

That's right, its due to Melt Down on Thanksgiving...It cant be avoided...if meltdown is attempted to be bypassed...it still arrives and is way effing worse then its original melt~downiness...I have MELT~DOWNSYNDROM. Now we may get lucky and it may arrive prior to Thanksgiving, It may arrive right after Thanksgiving...By a Day or So...But I know its Lurking...I can feel it welling up in me....like a hollowness in my chest just between the breasts...IF YOU KNOCK ON MY BREAST PLATE I SOUND LIKE TINMAN FROM WIZARD OF OZ! As it travels nearer to the Throat I will get a Pain...like hurt feeling pain except way worse...the only way to release said pain is a low growl to a dull roaring noise that ends up sounding like that loud fucking dinosaur from Jurassic Park....

Oh I can feel it! I often take a backseat in life to things, You know the normal things as Wives and Mothers... Like Our Families, their wants needs desires, disturbances, Whatever they deem important on any given day...Their Lives Call "ShotGun!" So inevitably, as the Holidays Approach...My eyes get a little more distant, my chest feels a little more hollow, and I fight the Jurassic Demon! At least as much as possible, to keep it at bay! This year I'm feeling it a lot earlier then most...Perhaps its because when EJHS is around I "harden" me a little...and Since he has been dealing with some issues that are "whole family matters"...and being his original baby Momma minus the Drama...I'm feeling a little more drawn to him then even I'm comfortable admitting to! Thank Goodness David is truly the most understanding husband in the world! Well at least for now he pretends to be...He even said the other day when I mentioned my distraction with EJHS and how it disturbs me that I feel for him, and my feelings aren't anger...He actually said well that's "normal for you Brandie" I wouldn't worry to much about it! Then he mentioned how we might not be conventional but "he" ie: EJHS is our "Family" so its gonna weigh on us...I was like wow....Really, its weighing on him too?  It does come down to this though...We are going to Virginia for Thanksgiving. Ive been to Virginia 3 times since 2004. 2004 is when I left Virginia to find myself...Single! You Dig...So going Back, seeing what was left behind and seeing all the changes that took place  rather in spite of my absence, perhaps because of my absence...Well it always makes me a little depressed! So perhaps the Jurassic Demon is just Dread...Oh Well... time to Put on the Big Girl Panties...Paint on the Smile, Jump in the Back Seat and Move it forward! 

The Muffin Stuff!