Unlike some people who "Work from Home". I actually Do... Work (Well, Sorta!)....
Which is why I have 3 Blogs in draft and now Im typing this one, which will go into draft in a hot effin second'! Cuz, I have to go to the Chiropractor for an adjustment, I basically sit on my Arse to long on Facebook...Bejeweled Blitzing like a fucking Psycho, waiting on the next installment of e-Loumination, Teeksplace, One Day at a time and The Nakid Writer, ( Wheres the Blog rule that says you cant blog twice a day you fricken slackers)...However It comes across, I don't want anyone who thinks "Im missing" via lack of my presence on Blogger or Facebook to worry that perhaps, IM NOT OK! Cuz like... when you call my Cell Phone and I don't Answer and then you call my house phone and I don't answer still, and then you call my office "line one" which I'm already talking on... so it "rolls to Line Two" which is forwarded BACK to my Cell so I don't miss calls from a real live person wanting to spend real green cash on Real Estate....(You know? But its YOU... calling me like a stalker needing to know my exact whereabouts so you can club me to death!) Requiring me to promptly hit the Ignore option on my phone... 'cuz I don't want the person I'm on the phone with to think I cant talk to them, 'cuz they Just Said too, after me having heard a tenth of a seconds Jingle from the ringer... (Like we are playing Name that tune or some shit)... for the third 'effin time, in as many minutes as it takes, for you to call all three lines...(I hear the client say almost snark-like)...."If you're Busy... you can call me back!"
Where then I say ..."Oh its ok, Just remember, next time you get my voice mail it
probably is very likely I'm on the other line!" As if... They are my only Client? A ridiculous thought for them to have!~I mean Puhlease, cant they hear my phone ringing off the hook? Didn't they Just make a Snark Comment about how If I'm too Busy?... Honestly, they don't need to know that YOU my sister who never gives up ...is blowing up my shit only 'cuz YOU have hot juicy news regarding ...Oh, I don't know... the Corn You Found in your Shit today? (REALLY!! We ARE that Close!)O... Wait... YOUR non stop phone antics have just validated MY business, and MY worth to this potential client...In as many as three minutes, three "other people" have called me, so from the potential clients prospective...I must be popular, I must do a good Job, look at how sought after I am! OH FUCK ME RUNNING......Your Drama Mamma Bullshit just made me Money! I wonder now if I owe you a referral fee? I love You~ Teek A Leek....Thanks for giving a flying Monkey Bunk....To show my gratitude...I picked these flowers for you while I was wondering through a Blog Field! Aren't they Pretty? They Kinda Remind me of an 80's Douche Commercial!...Can ya smell em?....As Paw Paw would Say "How's that computer Screen Smell, SHooG?"
The Muffin is Making a Living!
Post Script: She even sent a TEXT while Searching For ME! When I say she doesnt give up, I mean she DOESNT GIVE UP!
I love the fields of flowers!!!! I am glad YOUR BRINGIN' home the bacon baby!!! You can always rest easy knowing that If I can not find you~ I will call out the NATION GUARD TO LOOK FOR YOU!!
ReplyDeletexxoxoxooxox~
Well I have to admit there for a few seconds...I was Juggling the conversation and the many ringing lines by your search efforts! When Im on LINE 1 and it Rolls to Line two it cuts out for a second with the 1st ring so the person conversing with me is actually talking and I cant hear a word they are saying! Line three rings so loudly this carnival type Music that I often Answer and Hang up on whoever is calling just to stop the music... and all without even saying hello....Sorry Gary and Tyler, Victims of my nonAnswering Machined line 3! HOWEVER....when placing it all into proper prospective You actually made me sound like a Phone Busy establishment, and allowed for me to continue the other Habit I have of Screening Calls....More on that Later! So thanks for Driving me Crazy!
ReplyDeleteroflmao--my voicemail box has been full for months because I never clean it out. Makes people think I'm so damn important that I get call after call. Really, I don't wanna listen to voicemails if I wanna call ya back, I will. If not, well, you can't leave a voice mail and if it is that damn important you'll keep calling until I do call ya back, or pick up the phone just cause Im' sick to death of listening to it ring...even with my amazing ringtones I have sometimes i just let it ring cause I like listening to the song. Thank's for making me laugh girls...I need all the laughs I can get.
ReplyDeleteThat's freakin' hilarious!
ReplyDeletehey, if i thought people would actually read it, i would totally write like 3 blogs a day! so i aint no slacker!
ReplyDeleteThis post was funny as hell lol that you need an adjustment cause of laziness and facebooking ....i know the feeling! sometimes i blog all day, and am like oh man, i need me a massage and then of course i go get one cause it's $5 here in thailand for a one hour awesome massage! you can drool i know you wanna!
SERIOUSLY i was so gonna double blog today i have them written and everything but...based on the last three weeks statistics no one comments or seems to read blogs on the weekends so i am sitting on them instead! well, maybe no one comments on my blog on the weekends but whatever! writing once a day seems like it's too much for everyone to keep up with. hmmm what is the right formula? i don't know...glad you;re making dolla dolla bills yo!
LOL! Angi I just Deleted a Message from You that you left me Back in OCTOBER! you were telling me that you love me! lol i think you were at the Bar! (Or Greek Fest!???)
ReplyDeleteLoum: It gets funnier with time!
Nakid....And here I thought You didnt blog on Weekends because You actually DO have a life! Now I know otherwise! Im getting my passport...$56 Body Massages? Jacob and I are coming to Thailand...Just as soon as I can pay for Three Round Trip tix...(I have to Travel with Hunka as Well...He wouldn't let me leave the country with a swinger as hot as Jacob....I owe Jacob the money I got from the Greek man who paid to slaughter our Goat just before Greek Fest last October....He was saying something about Gyros....I was too busy counting the money I made...Dont get all crazy PETA's I only did it because The pet restrictions in the condo are a bitch!)
OOOO I meant $5
ReplyDelete