Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Art of War...and 7other ways to win...

I have two very selfish guilty pleasures....One is Jerseylicious the new show on Style Network and the other is Celebrity Fit Club as seen on VH1! Not because I love the Drama....Who am I kidding I completely do, Not because the Style is fabulous, It so totally is, and not because I love the A typical personalities that are cast...I am an A typical personality and Birds of a Feather Flock together... I love these two shows because at the bottom of the hour they air there really is some great examples of what to and not to do! They are both Goal Oriented Shows! I like that, there is a little competition in everyday life, and if you aren't about stepping up to the plate, you may find your self being stepped on!

The Art Of War~ Read with a Jersey Accent~ From this point forward!

If you have a goal to obtain, or perhaps a popularity poll to win...Whatevah~ you need to approach it in the most reasonable mannah (Manner for you Midwestern readers)... Don't approach a goal with out a plan, and if you are competing in order to achieve the goal you absolutely must incorporate the theory from The Art Of War

While watching the Celebrity Fit club, one of their weekly bootcamp themes encompassed The Art Of War. Particularly from Chapter Six of this book. They breaking it down, won there challenge by taking advantage of the other competitors weaknesses. Now In order to take advantage of a weakness you need to know the weakness...this encompasses a whole "notha" philosophy....and English Proverb: keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Just Saying...If you want to Win, Accomplish, and Achieve... you better know who or what is trying to make you fail....then find them and squish them! Arggggggggggg!Did you know Both my Parents Were US Marines...Failure Is NOT an Option!

So how are we going to tie all this together in 7 points? Well, just like the 13 chapters in that famous lil book(the Art of War is Like 700 pages and I just dont have that many photos in my computer so I simplified my diddies to 7...Art of War...13 Muffin Diddies 7...Capish?)... Ive Got 7 lil diddies that I do in fact use on a daily basis to move myself my life and my business toward a more successful path...Cuz sometimes my muffin cakes....You gotta kick your own ass to motivate your own ass....Ya feelin me?

1. Know and Set Clear Obtainable Goals: If its a diet, a client, or a new dress that is your goal, you have to State and Mean that you want to achieve it. Lets use diet as an example here...If you have 30 pounds to loose, dont expect you will loose that weight in a week....thats an unobtainable goal!

2. Keep your reach positive, even if your goal seems a bit far off....For example Using Diet again: You want to Loose 30 pounds in 10 weeks, a bit aggressive but can be done, you break it down by Weeks! 3lbs per week till objective is met. In week 1 and 2 you hit dead on your goal...woot Partay over here...Crystal Light Water and a vitamin sweets! But weeks 3-5 Nada...Well find something positive about the situation and Keep on Keeping on! Everyone knows, especially us weight conscience girls that there are peaks and valleys in a diet and you have to not give yourself a reason to fail! So many of my thicker boned sisters (figuratively not literally) fail their diets because they give up out of frustration! The ole adage "whats the point " Imma eat this whole box of twinkies!

3. If you fall down Get Back UP! Period!

4. Surround yourself with like minded people....Regardless of the fact that I dont wholly subscribe to the AA philosophy, I will agree to this, If you are attempting to reach a goal, surrounding yourself with like motivated people is far better for your success rate then people who could care less or who can offer you no support along your Journey!

5.Dispose of Negative Influences! This could include people or props, why stock the shelves with Ho Ho's if you are trying to diet? Why hang out in the Bar if you are no longer Smoking or Drinking? It doesn't make sense.

6. Treat yourself along the way for small Achievements, Goal was thirty Pounds Right? 10 pounds you get a Mani~Pedi, at 15 pounds you get a new pair of Jerseylicious jeans After all you probably need them anyway at 18pounds, a new Hair do, 23 pounds new boots/shoes and a matching handbag, at 25 pounds a new skirt at 26 pounds Bikini Shopping maybe, and every pound thereafter gets a reward... the reward just can not be food! Don't celebrate by cheating....I'll let you know how this plan works out, if I ever throw away the Oatmeal Cream Pies!

7. Maneuvering is the 7th chapter in The Art of War...So you need to set yourself up to succeed, Know when to Battle and know how to win the battle....I have an example that is Not diet related...but krusty bitch related instead, think school slut vs head cheerleader...It could go either way for either of us, Just saying, Im building a picture here. I have been challenged although subtly or perhaps in less then a direct dueling glove to the face kinda way by a broad I know through a mutual acquaintance...Now I know this broad is a bit of a crock through mutual conversation and our acquaintance. So I have unstable on myside, she has never followed through on a commitment she has made that I can tell, She has about 33% less friends then me from what I gather and she is depressed...Listen Even I know I can stomp her ass, Intellectually and otherwise! I also have Peeps who have my back....long time "Homey don't play that" peeps, Im talking straight up "cut a bitch", "street" kinds, the "got your back kinda friends"....When she was ass stomped the first time you would think she would have backed off and played nice......But Nooooooooooooo, she decides to come at me again....chapter seven and the muffin say buy a T-Shirt that reads Bitch Please you did not invent this...I did!

Im not going to continue writing this blog in the Fashion that follows the Chapter and Verse of The Art of War, cuz this is becoming even too long for me to want to read...Just know this: When Your Sister is asking you about how Fat People Screw....Hang up the Phone.... Put Down The Twinkie cuz the bitch must think you are an authority on the matter... Just saying!

The Warrior Muffin~


  1. Oh the ho ho's look so good!!!

    Know lets chat about the dudes up above~ see that stuff hanging on the thigh on dude with the yellow man thong.. AGAIN..its on his thigh, I see no area that represents his MAN PACKAGE.... you know he has to Pick thatSTUFF up and either hold it while he' know ....OR after he gets it in he has to lay it on her ass....
    ...Just thinking that might not be fun, NO...No fun at all....How do they/ he / them get it on ...
    Not that I think your an expert...But cause you know everything.....LOL~ KISSES

    Love ya and the blog is SUPER!! ~



  3. Listen It dont happen often but I gotta tell you....I got Nothing!

  4. Come on give me something!!!!!!