Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Coffee and Reflection...How to become Muffins Friend, Part 1....Or Not...

I have a few Facebook Friends...and Like my Myspace Friends, I created Rules that I used to determine if you were worthy enough to be in my clique. Basically it was simple....
*Did I give birth to you? if Yes You are in If no....finding another loop hole to all that is Muffin, may still be available to you.
* Did I ever, or Do I now... Sleep with you?....In the Nocturnal Sense, the Copulations questions comes later...If Yes... You are In, If No... take a Benedryl, and don't use my pillow, Additional loopholes May Follow.

*Did I ever Copulate you or you copulate me? Yes? You're In! No? Why? what the Fucks wrong with you?
*Are we related....Meaning: Do I call you Brother, Sister, Cousin, Aunt, Uncle, or possible loop hole...basically, do I call you...You know on the phone, or... out of the living room cuz, I need my shoulders rubbed?
*Did you ever buy... or Might you ever buy... anything Im selling....this includes but is not limited to... Hot wheel Cars, A load of Crap... or Real Estate? Si'? You're In! Nine?...well Fuck off! (Nine is German for No)
*Did we ever serve Jail Time together? There are several areas of my memory that I completely don't recall....I'm just seeing if by some chance one of you slip up and reveal it to me!
*Did you ever Name anything after me? Dogs carry the name Brandie(Y) quite well, as do Tranny's, Strippers, and offspring of alcoholics. Yes? You are in! No? ...Something for future consideration!
*Do you have a sense of Humor and are you easily offended? If the first part is a yes then you are in! If you are easily offended...Dont even Bother...and You got two Issues...One: you think you matter to the world and you dont....and two: you really should stop taking things so personally, Just a lil Muffin Tip!
*Do you have a Paypal account? (Information will be saved for future use and will not be sold to anyone! Well unless you can pay more then they are offering for the info!)

The Above was a Post Draft dated way back on 05/11/10....Its Retro Blog!
I was about to Blog Three Things I want in my PERFECT MATE....when Out of the Blue I notice a Draft Blog....Im all like, "Whoa hold the Phone....I failed to Post something?" When does this happen? I was all cheesing my new blog Idea stolen from EJHJ's English Comp class...This teacher of his is a Blog Topic "Gene~ess"...She Chinese too with  very thick Beijing accent...Makes for great conversation over dinner! The EHoov Jr Is loving his college debut!

Ok so my Blog topic Just Got Shit upstream...which reminds me the whole yogart probiotic....make your bowels move thing... Jaime Lee Curtis talks about... is sooooo true....  Oh Something Shiny.........So Im gonna leave this as a Rambling Blog, go get some much needed administrative work complete and work on my weight loss project that Im likely to open up about on Friday... when I blog all about the weight loss regime Im about to undertake...not your normal Im blogging to loose weight so you people can keep me accountable blog... but rather, Im going to Blog everything... My menu, the Exercises Im suppose to do and the pain in the Fucking Ass the whole I have to diet and EXERCISE  if I want to loose weight issue Blog ~Blog...with the hopes that One or Two of You will join me and maybe we can co-blog our weight loss journeys together. (That Move to the Left is called the Upward Camel Toe, Its my Yoga Goal!) Im even going to venture back to Hot Yoga in the attempt to either Kill Myself or burn 700 calories in 90 minutes....Maybe!                                              
Just a thinkin....~Muffin


  1. Those Shoes in the Retro Picture Scream "Muffany"

  2. Ouch...looking at that pose makes me hurt. And you wanna do that? Girlfriend-go for it!
    I can still touch the ground with my flat palms and am perfectly content with that but... I may consider taking up that weight loss plan AFTER I see the criteria. Making no promises though- I like food and I like Yoga- but you get into that aerobic get your heart pumping real fast shit and Im out.

  3. I wouldn't do yoga for all the camel toe in the world. Probably break something if I tried. Like my spirit.

  4. I dont think I will ever do that Pose! Lol And the Diet is Jullian Michael...Im starting on Monday Im gearing up though this week! It will be easy except for the work out part...Im so unmotivated for physical activity and Im craving Wine already! WTF!? Why must it be so fattening?
    I got David to Do Yoga Loum and he loved it...Its not what you think it is and its a great stretch, even euphoric...Great stress release for an old stoner like me!

  5. I have just installed iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.