Thursday, November 11, 2010

Love Language...What we are looking for...

I had a very close friend say to me recently: "You are the Reason I will never Marry again." Trust me this was not a compliment. She was serious! I however, was not offended. I'm actually quite the Romantic, although I dont appear that way to some. I am very in touch with my emotions and self. Enough so, that her idea that my ideas are absurd don't even sway my opinion! Absurd as she may find them, they are actually honest and REAL. Not that Im saying hers arent...Im sure she feels certain that what she says she feels, she actually believes she feels...Im just not so sure that she is allowing herself to feel feel! Rather she is attempting to feel what she perceives as normal!
Love and Language are two very important things to me. The fact that many people including her, don't know how to feel...literally. As I see it... Thats really her problem! I accept my "feelings", I acknowledge them, and even if, I'm not or they're not "Conventional," I don't let that stop me from being honest with myself about "feeling". OK~ I get it... so maybe she just thinks I'm complicated!
Here's how it works in her world, I see it! Which may mean, that I'm wrong! (I doubt it, but the possibility exists!) After having a conversation about Ex's...Hers, Mine, and possibly Yours....she made the following comment: she said "I wouldn't want anything to happen to my ex, but there is absolutely no emotion left in me for him." she repeats stearnly "I feel nothing for him" She then proceeded to say..."I'll always love him because he is my Sons Father"....~Screeeeeetch...~Fish Tail~ Fish Tail~ Sliding Stop.........BULLSHIT!

She doesn't love him...she made an excuse that seemed to be acceptable for her previous statement, because it lacked emotion. She projected! Because her feelings although true and raw that she has no emotions for her EX may appear harsh...she changed her statement to look less bitch like!  So hell NO! I dont accept that...She is allowed to not feel anything for her EX....Certainly you don't love someone because they are your child's parent. You dont have to Love someone because you once did, and its perfectly acceptable to Love someone you used to Hate, after having loved them in the first place.
Its not difficult! (Ok... just go back and read it'll eventually make sense!)  The reason I bring all this up is, I do not fear my emotions...I have taken the time to feel...I know better then most what I feel considering I'm the one to feel it...I have entertained several unconventional conversations in the last several days, primarily because of the comments made to me by this person. I have men opinions and lady opinions on the matter and then there is My Opinion...The topic of "what is love" was brought up at a dinner party I was at, and the very fine gentleman dining with us practically leaps up and in Broadway fashion quoted the final scene from When Harry Met Sally! I have to agree with that very fine Gentleman, Love is when you accept from the other person everything they are in their finest to ugliest moment. You accept them and all their faults..Your heart still beats and you see ALMOST only their good and potential....and because of that I can be labeled a romantic. Logic on the other hand says that timing and circumstance and trust are also key ingredients. I also believe that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just cant help who you fall in love with! When I was getting married for the second time a friends mother said to me, "In order to make your marriage work your partner needs to share a very simple idea with you. Each day when you start new you need to say to yourself what can I do to make this person happy today...and your partner needs to do the same." Happy doesn't have to be Presents, Happy doesn't have to be to do the laundry, Happy is defined by what simple thing that can bring a joyful emotion to your partner... I took the Love Language Test and posted my results up there...It appears Words/ Affirmation, Time and Touch are what makes me tick...Then again....That's something I already knew!

As the Holidays Begin...I hope you find Your HAPPILY EVER AFTER ...

I am the LoveMuffin!


  1. Very true.

    After reading this I am going to go home and love myself.

  2. lol! Absolutely by all means Love Yourself! lol!

  3. I guess because I am a "feely" kinda lady what you said up there makes perfect sense to me. Though I did read it twice, just because I've been missing MuffinLogic and needed a good dose of muffiny opinion.
    I do have a question though...Why does your friend feel the need to feel anything at all for her ex? He is her ex for a reason after all. I think the fact that she doesn't hate him is a positive thing though I don't know the circumstances of their relationship ending.
    I have a friend who used to go on and on about how much she hated her ex. I would tell her the only reason she hated him was because she still loved him or at least had feelings for him. She disagreed with me, but then several years later came back and told me I was right...Like DUH! I usually am. There is a fine line between love and hate and somewhere in the middle, where you don't care either way is definitely most acceptable in my opinion.

  4. Mine is quality time.
    and WTH with your friend? sigh.

  5. Well Ladies it was a strange set of Circumstances that brought the topic to the table... we had a friend who went on Vacation and came Home Married to her EX...Prompts the Question...What If....Then there is the odd reality that I have with My Ex...actually Ex's...they Keep showing up on me! My ExHusband and I have become very good friends in the last 2 years~ give or take an argument or death threat or both...J/K Sorta! Then the What Is Love Question at the Dinner Party....Things to Ponder! My Friend Didn't say she Hated her Ex...For the Blog Record...she said she had no emotion....which I believe but to say you love someone because they share a child with you...not something Im buying! I cant shut my emotions off that easily...Its easier to get you out of my Heart then My Head...and that Dang Head of Mine can talk some shit to my heart! Angie Sorry the Logics been missing I'll work on that!

  6. Angie ~ Hate is an emotion Stronger then Love and stemming from Love! I agree with you!!!!!!