Sunday, April 3, 2011
Saved a Betties Blog~ Its a Repost
Is it Getting Better?
SO I find myself at a crossroads of sorts...I'm forty, there is just a few months left before I say I'm forty one and then only 12 additional months until I'm 42...Time is flying by...I have just experienced my first significant death as an adult, of a Peer (I love you Brian, R.I.P.) He was 41, and now I really wonder... is this as good as it gets? Will I ever truly realize my dream of living outside of the continental US? Will I start reading the Obits on a daily basis?
Should I begin to compile my Bucket List?
Will the World End 12/12/12?
Having had, my Grandmother, my Aunt and my friend, all given the news of a terminal illness...and a knowledge of their time for passing being so near, I am amazed at the grace with which they each faced it. As strong as I think I am, I begin to wonder... am I really all that strong? Would I ride a Bull if I thought I only had a limited time left? My Aunt Wrote letters, My Grandmother Spent time with each of her Grandchildren individually, and Im not sure what Brian did for his Family or Children individually, but for his friends he did give and make special time. And when your time is limited as each of theirs was, you realize there is no more precious of a gift then the time that they shared! See... even now with all that looming in my head, and as depressing as it all seems, I find myself wanting to crack a joke! I want to shake my fist at fate and say "Fuck You!" I firmly believe that I am who I choose to be, I am the keeper of my dreams and the do-er of my desires....I will run off with Hunka into seclusion one day! Time has no meaning because I am still young! Ok... So My Tits don't listen...There are Dr's for that! I'm NOT Someones Grandma and I don't feel bad that I'm not so concerned with being someones Grandma someday either...Several of my Friends are Grandparents, Frankly to consider my self a Granny? Well that seems almost ludicrous to me. My carpet don't match the drapes people! The Drapery is gray with out dye...the carpet ain't, well whats left of it anyway! I hear downstairs turns gray too...You know in Granny Type Folks that is.
Neither David nor I care to much if we never become Grandparents! AND Not because we wanna keep the Carpet a luxurious Ebony Hue ... Really! I just don't see myself any different then I did at 25. (It took everything I had to not type 17....I really wanted to type 17 People!) That's not to say that if our Married child or unmarried children decide to spawn seeds, Demon or otherwise, that we wont feel anything for their off spring. I'm sure my entire prospective will change when that happens, I'm just saying, that if it never happens, Id be ok with it!
I have a 15 year old to get out of the house and then I do believe I'm checking the Fuck out! Luggage and Hunka In tow... Im off to some unknown Island where Earthquakes of an 8pt magnitude hit or Tsunami's are a true fear!
Just send me pictures of the Grand-kids....They'll still have a Grand-Dad on the Mainland....After all he'll still be raising his last child...Shes only 7 Months!
Funny how a death makes you realize you want to live!
So I wish you all LIFE! Lots and Lots of Life!